haiku for you

Usually I leave this kind of thing undone, or on a myspace blog, but... why not. In Haiku form?or..narrative haiku. I realize that haiku is about much more than syllable counting, but it is fun to try to fit a form anyway.. ok. .. nerd. 

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:
1. you are beautiful

    your booty is not too big

    don't even worry

2. for this i'm sorry

    i never knew what to say

    but i did love you

3. if i had a room

    reed table lamp light and chair

    i would be happy

4.  tall dark and handsome

     but do you know that you are?

     seems you like to hide

5.  i say that i wont 

     but it is impossible

     phone rings, i answer

6.  soft black and furry

     the cat licks my face and hair

     i'd rather have you

7.  i'll be that gi-irl

     and you would be right over

     if i were a field

     you would be in clover

    (ok.... stolen from...Barenaked Ladies)

8.  just pack up your things

     and live in fort worth with me 

     whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop

9.  wish i were moving 

      to that other coast with you 

      a year is too long

10. ...

There are 9 more little sections to this. Maybe I'll bust out some more haikus  tomorrow.

Boomer Sooner!

Pretty exciting. 

It's football season!

Why am I excited?

I think it's part nostalgia, part pride, part... just... that I like OU football. 

I never got that into it at FSU, although I did enjoy the tailgating environment there, but Norman on a game day is just incredible. Everyone should get to experience it. 

Hopefully I will get up to campus sometime this season! Yay!

Wow. I dont even like sports that much. Haha. 

I've been spending a LOT of time in the car lately. Being trapped in a car for hours a week is a great opportunity to listen to a lot of music! The driving / highway time was the main reason I didn't want to move here, but I'm taking full advantage of a bad situation.  I suppose I could do the same thing in a place with public transportation, and an ipod, but I think I might be more caught up in people and environment watching if I was on a train or bus full of people than I am in my car. Just sayin. 

fuller, wiser. nonsense.

I really like collaborations. I've had a few in writing lately. 

As a writing exercise, pretty much every day I'll use something someone says to me as a line in a poem. It really is pretty fun. 

Collaborations in music, writing, art, and ..conversation.. all feel pretty good. 

Tangent:  I realize that conversation should automatically be counted as a collaboration of sorts, but it isn't really. Many conversations are really just two people talking at each other. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? True collaborative conversations seem to often end in laughter or ridiculousness. Sometimes haikus. Sometimes just.. getting caught up in one random idea, thought, or sound with another person is enough to carry a conversation for quite a while.  It's like..performance art. (That at least two people appreciate! haha!)

This seems to happen with Shannon quite a bit. And it is always exciting and surprising when you find it with other people as well. Sometimes it requires sacrificing where you wanted the conversation to go, or thought the conversation was going to go, and really letting it go where it wants to! 

Listen. Talk. Converse. Collaborate!

This is a shout out to my collaborative conversationalists. *klok* 

First day of school! (As a grown up....)

Roaring Canyon

Welcome to Fort Worth!

Today was a happy day.

4 Things:

1) I played for students, and talked to them about the bassoon, and I enjoyed it! I think middle school is a really great age, the kids were curious and excited about music. 

2) I finally got to drive on one of the crazy bridges in the Dallas/ Fort Worth area. Highways in this area are often actually, very high. Exciting! The smallest roads here have more lanes and faster speed limits than the biggest roads in Tallahassee. Here are a few examples of the Bridges. A neat one from  1959.

3) I've had quite a few questions about cowboy hats this week, from non-Texan friends. I don't have a cowboy hat, and I haven't seen that many, HOWEVER, there are horses. Driving through Fort Worth, or somewhere in the mid-cities area(which is where i live- the area between Dallas and Fort Worth), you're likely to see houses, houses, apartments, places of business, small corner lot with grazing horses, apartments, major intersections. Crazy! I guess the city limits thing doesn't apply to farm animals here like it does in Oklahoma City.

4) Two interesting street names: Roaring Canyon. (In Texas? Really? Haven't seen any roaring anything.) And my favorite, Fuller Wiser Road. It sounds like a very content, intelligent street to live on. My kind of place. I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled for  Fat Happy Lane. I'm sure it's out here somewhere. 

p.s. I've been writing in my sleep. I'll wake up in the middle of the night with an idea, and can't sleep until I write it down. Its a bit of a problem,  because it wakes up the cat, who then needs several minutes of attention before I can sleep again. Its totally worth it though. 

Holy 6:30 AM

There is a good chance that I'm actually up right now. 

Hopefully I am, because I'm going to go to schools today to play bassoon for kiddos! Yay!

And maybe tell them what a concerto is... and that a bassoon uses vibrato. Can play very low. Can play FOUR different B-flats, in one piece. Three octave range! Wow!

And also... can play very very short notes. Oh that silly bassoon!

I'll let you know how it goes. I'm sure you're all incredibly interested. 

Oh, those night-time blues

Nothing beats the night-time blues like waking up to a new day. Especially if it's six in the morning, and a cat is licking  your face. again. haha. 

So far it seems like Girlyman's Easy Pearls is going to be in my head all day, again. I couldn't find a link to it, but another great girlyman song is Everything's Easy. Enjoy.

Left vs. Right

I found this on another blog, 

a food blog actually, and thought it was really interesting. It is about 18 minutes long. I watched it while I cooked and ate lunch today. Mmmmm Tortillas, cheese, and green olives. I'm so fancy. But,  really. Watch as a scientist talks about watching herself experience a stroke. She cries a little. I maybe did too. 

It is time for the world to see how freakin cute my niece is. Cute pictures of Ava! I need some current ones. If you're reading this (Jenny) send me some new pictures!

Buddha says. Turn your mind away from things which are not permanent. Good advice, but it is easier said than done.
What is permanent, anyway?

You can call me Al

Sometimes it just feels good. Even if it is jibberish. 

School in Fort Worth started today, which means by the end of the week I should have some idea about how many students I'll have this semester. I'm heading out to the various schools this week, to meet and greet the students and/or their parents, and talk them into taking lessons. And dazzle them with my fanatical bassooning. 

But really, if you play bassoon, or want to, you need to take lessons. Preferably from me. 

And perhaps a reed lesson or two wouldn't be bad, just to give you an idea of what your future might look like. 

I miss my bassoon friends. I know I'm not alone in the world, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who blogs. Yay! Zach, TJ, Dave, Brett. Keep it up.

Speaking of Zach... I have to do it.. sorry. This is true bassoon love right here:

the funniest text

the funniest text 

i've received in quite a while

came today. 

i'm still laughing. 

"Had a dream last night that you turned me in for trying to kidnap orphans. I hate you."

Well stop freakin kidnapping orphans and we wouldn't have a problem!!

Mmm...

Ventured over to Dallas yesterday for the first time since the big move. Only got lost once!

Yesterday was a really happy day. All day. I didn't do anything different, no new meds or more or less sleep or more or less productivity. Just, happiness in the head. Yay! Residual happiness feels a little like heartburn, but I am still in a pretty good mood. I guess it could actually be heartburn. 

So, Alan posted pictures from Shannon's wedding! I stole them. Of course my eyes are closed. But, what a fun day that was! Me and Chris, then Shannon, Me. 

  

It does taste blueberries!

I think perhaps I meant to say that, "it does taste like blue berries!"

But, yes. Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat is a very tasty beer.

 And it tastes a bit like blueberries. 

I really am happy to be here in Fort Worth, it is awesome to live by Shannon and Jeff!

Shannon and I went to Spiral Diner again, and it was loveliness and laughter, as usual.
We also... harmonized a little, whistled a little, and watched some iffy youtube videos with Jeff and sang some more songs.
The evening even inspired a bit of poetry. 

At the Container Store today, my uncle Johnny and I came across some old cameras that were out as decorations. Things got a bit sentimental for him, he remembered his dad using one of them! They were pretty awesome though.

Ugh. I'm up because that cat was lickin' my hair. Gross.

A Sentimental Heart

My cousin was at the eye doctor today, getting his eyes checked, and new contacts.
While he was in the restroom before checking out, a woman in the waiting room paid for his visit.
She asked that he not know who had paid.
He was in uniform, on a lunch break from his job at Tinker.

smile.

I was on the couch today, playing the guitar and attempting to sing, and I had two thoughts.

1) I write what I know.

2) The cat likes music. Look at the picture.
She likes me, too. Little Jumper is her name.
Sometimes she looks like an owl.

Back to writing...so what do I know? I guess I know what it is like to miss people, to work together, to make music, to laugh out loud, to be ridiculous and silly, to be lied to, and to want something I can't have. I need to write more about those things. What I actually write about is... love, unrequited love, and the act of writing itself. Ridiculous. No one wants to read that same stuff over and over. How do I pull myself out of this trend? Perhaps ... writing daily haikus about concrete objects will help. Read this site. Write haikus with me. Do it! Just.. yes. Do it. Seriously. You can post them here, or e-mail them.

I attempted to use garage band on my macbook today to record a song. Anyone want to start a folk band with me? Just say yes, and mean it. Preferably you willing to be a bit goofy, write creatively and/or play guitar or some stringed instrument reasonably well, or even a little bad might be ok.

Also, I like.....miss Christy.

Problem.

Realized today that in at least half of the pictures of me that I come across on myspace and such, I'm making a ridiculous face. I just can't seem to help myself. Perhaps I should learn to control that. Keeping my mouth closed might help. Here are a few examples... at least i'm not alone in the hilarity..some of the time.

What is that thing?

I will play my bassoon tomorrow! And like it.

bassoon is a thing
that can make a grown man cry
tears of frustration

a bit o my heart (a la 1999)

I wrote a lot of poetry in high school.
And, curious, did some searching tonight.
When I choose to, I remember everything about high school. Or at least most of it.
Good thing I don't choose to very often, apparently I was very angsty.
I can share it now without embarrassment, because anything older that 7 years
might as well have been written by someone else, right? No editing here, although I think 2008 me might want to change some things that 1999 me did. I'll leave it alone for now. 

"Like A Fool" (maybe 1999?)

My heart was carried away

And i was left behind

Looking perfectly like a fool

To wander

Blushing and stumbling

Through a cruel world

Without a heart to guide me

that girl is CRA-AZY.

I drove up to Oklahoma today, and it was an easy drive. This was big news; usually I find my head nodding within the first forty-five minutes or so, and have to constantly be sucking down cherry coke or snack food in order to make it. I'm not sure if I've just gotten used to driving, or if I was distracted enough by working my way through a new playlist of music that I didn't even think about driving. I wasn't ready to get out of the car, I was only on song 47 of 294! Yikes. I guess I better road trip it again soon.

I think another distraction was the view: I was sure I was going to miss the afternoon rains of Tallahassee, and I do I suppose, especially when dealing with the 105 degree heat in Texas, but the sky here is just amazing. I'm constantly in awe, and must look ridiculous peering out of my car windows as I'm driving, leaning in every direction to get the best view, all the while bustin' out in song, usually with the wrong words or awkward harmony, to whatever is on the radio. What do other people do in the car? What are they thinking about? Maybe in a week or two I'll be numb to the flat horizon and enormous sky again, but I hope not.

Picture from today: It's just a street view, but look at the blue sky! And all of the pretty contrasting clouds! You can see the storm clouds in the foreground, too. The sky is just... huge. Tall. Expansive.

You can click on all of my photos to get larger views, if you ever care to.

This is a picture my dad took yesterday in Edmond. It looks like a UFO sighting, or the second coming, but it's really just another amazing example of the Oklahoma sky.
This one, as well as most of the others in my blog, are taken with a cell phone. A Samsung 707. Crazy, huh?

I've been feeling way too melodramatic to post anything of substance lately, at the risk of embarrassing myself, but I think I'm ready for an update! Did anyone actually miss knowing about the ridiculousness of my life? Probably not. 

Um.. my aunt is awesome. I can't seem to keep her away from power tools. 

We spend a lot of time laughing, and a lot of time eating. Two of my favorite things!

I'm still pretty solidly on a girlyman kick, but have been enjoying some Badly Drawn Boy, Magnetic Fields, and the old standby, Paul Simon. Can't really go wrong there. 

Girlyman is coming to Dallas in September! So are Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.. Pretty pumped. I need to meet some people around here who like my music, and are willing to spend some money sometimes in order to go see them. Not a lot of money! Just some.

Girlyman is amazing live. Do it. 

When I get in an emotional funk, it seems like everything i listen to or read is about my life. And it isn't. I need to go back to my Four Agreements enlightenment again. They really made life seem pretty great, until I got caught up in my own stupidness again. For those of you who haven't read The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, I highly recommened it. Its basically just a feel good book about how to live life. The "agreements" are with yourself, and they are not necessarily easy, but are something to strive for. Here are the four agreements, from his website:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Well there you have it. 

Pictures of Life from the Phone, from top to bottom: Kitty-Pig, CrazyAss cousin, Power Tools!, Too-Long-At-HomeDepot-Face, and Singin"What the hell have I" in the car. 

Maybe I'm just a child who needs to throw a fit

I can be frozen, I'm no salt water lake
Maybe I'm broken, can't be blamed for my mistakes
Maybe I'm cruel just like I seem to be
How I can't stand to see you in front of me
Maybe I'm just a child who needs to throw a fit

Maybe I'm mad and wild underneath all I try to fit

Sometimes someone else says it best. In this case, girlyman.

Happiness and Sadness

Wow no post for a day and a half! Nothing too interesting, but:

I'm enjoying watching the Olympics, mainly swimming and gymnastics. Those gymnast guys have the craziest arms.

Feeling good about taking some action towards teaching this semester, and excited about bassoon.

And..the amaretto sour I just drank was rather tasty.

Soon, sleep and listening to some music I got today!

You're the Best!

My aunt and I had a rather fun afternoon eating and shopping today... 

We were talked into getting makeovers at the "benefit" makeup counter. Pretty exciting way to spend an hour or four. 

Afterwards, I headed over to Shannon's to see her family-in-law's fluffy puppies... no pictures, but it was a good time. They lick a lot though, blech. 

We had Vietnamese food for dinner, ate way too much goodness, and on the way back saw a ferris wheel!

We felt more excitement than is probably warranted by the sight of a traveling carnival, but it was pretty spectacular! 

Luckily, considering the previously mentioned vietnamese food, there was no vomiting, but almost. It all started with a ride called "Bear Affair."

                                                        Might not be Splash Mountain, but Shannon approved.

goodness

Happy Birthday Haiku

beanie, bowling shirt

check. it looks like i'm ready

where's my cake and beer?

What I Learned Today

Panda Express is not good. 

Mid-afternoon naps are never long enough. 

Being brave isn't easy. 

5 year olds can be fun. 

Especially when they are singing "dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

I freakin' love the song In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Good song.

 Actually I learned that last week, but I haven't really gotten over its newness yet. And apparently it's just new to me.....where were you people hiding this goodness?!

I'm an Idiot.

How long do you let someone lie to you

to keep up a charade that suits you well?

On a lighter note, ever wonder what "ooh this one has a duck on it!" is from? I was just revisiting the wonders of the Sarah Silverman Show, and now you can too. Quotes from my favorite episode can be found  RIGHT HERE.  We are the same sometimes... at least in our randomness and excitement over things...not so much in some other ways..but.. still funny.

I got a MEOW in text form the other day, and it turns out that it was my friend Chuck! I posted a link to Chuck's blog from his first cycling journey a few days ago here, and it looks like he's at it again. Go check out his website at breakthemachine.net ! He has some amazing pictures of his journey, as well as some commentary on pretty much everything.  Enjoy!

Cheese Cake!!!!

Today Shannon introduced me to Central Market, home of fluffy gelato, mounds of fresh and beautiful produce, bulk bins, glorious cheese, and incredible desserts. As soon as I have a source of income, I'm going back. 

BEAUTIFUL!

<3 of the non-cohesive variety

"Love has nothing to do with what you're expecting to get- only what you are expecting to give- which is everything. "

-Katharine Hepburn

There is so much talk about love, I know. Quizzes, self help books, poems, songs. Its all around. Any statement you make about love sounds like plagiarism*. But what if its true? If "all you need is love" do I still need to acknowledge that someone else had the same though? Ahhhh. 

I love people, do you?

Have you ever said I love you to someone and not meant it?

I know there are many kinds of love, and I'd rather have all of them in my life. Eros, philia, and agape. For those of you who missed that sunday school or mythology lesson, that is: erotic or romantic love, love based on friendship, and unconditional love. 

Where does the love fit in that feels like someone is tearing you apart- a la  Mrs. Coulter severing your daemon from you, or even just pulling a little too far? (talking about souls here, people). Don't get the reference? Go read  His Dark Materials. Anyway.... I think most people have experienced that too. But where would we be without it? The world needs passion. 

 Wow. Well. There it is. 

*Is this really how you spell plagiarism? Apparently it is, according to everything on the internet, but... it just looks so wrong. Weird. Plagarism? Yikes.

Cures What Ails Ya

Apparently Laughter is all the rage now. Shannon and I practiced this afternoon quite a bit, and are planning on going to a Laughter Club sometime soon. They actually have one here in Fort Worth. 

From the American School of Laughter Yoga:

The secret of laughter yoga is that our bodies are hardwired with some surprisingly powerful natural reactions to extended hearty laughter. These side effects include:

Blood & all major organs are fully oxygenated leaving us bursting with energy
Blood pressure drops, circulation improves and pulse rate drops
Depression is lifted, even chronic depression is often cured
High endorphin levels put us in a great mood and reduce any aches & pains
Immune, digestive & sexual systems that are switched off by stress are switched on
Self confidence is boosted, communication skills and creativity are boosted
Our lymphatic system is massaged and our immune systems boosted
Stress levels reduce by 75% or more and we become more stress resistant

So people the next time you're upset or angry or lonely, try laughing through it. Sometimes nothing beats crying into a pillow or oversized teddy-bear, but a good laugh really can make the world seem better. 

How To Change a Life

Step 1:

Shove the contents of your apartment into you car.

Didn't get a picture of the car, but here is my mid-move desk shot, pre car-loading:

Step 2:

Find a home for desk, bed, bookshelves, peanut butter, beans, and swirly couch.

                                                              Step 3:

                                Drive from old life to new life, through many storms.

Step 4:
Petition family members to help unload car, proceed to explode contents of car, formerly known as contents of apartment, all over the living/dining room of an overly generous aunt. 

Step 5:

Enjoy new life and the pleasures of having family around. 

Post a picture of a napping cousin online:

Step 6:

Introduce cousin's daughter to the joys of photo booth. 

Step 7: Switch around sleeping/living schedule. Rather than sleeping from 3 AM to 11 Am, go to bed at 10:15 and wake up at 7. You'll be ready for bed, after spending your days swimming, eating, and watcing movies. Share bed with a five year old who hasn't gotten over the novelty of a new cousin.  Wake up to small feet digging into your back, and spend another 15 minutes in the morning with photo booth before heading off to explore this new world. 

                                                     Welcome.